Bittersweet
by Simone Ruru
Summary: And she knew she would die for him… or with him. Alistair/Amell


Distant shouts were just background noise as Atia struggled to conjure her next bolt of lightning. Soon, the sound akin to a thousand chirping birds filled her ears and she released the powerful electricity blast right in a genlock's chest. The two remaining emissaries were alerted to her closeness and began casting what seemed like fireballs.

"Oh, sod!" she screamed, as she ducked out of the way of the first one, the second frying the tips of her hair. Furious now, she called glacial ice to the tips of her fingers, and released it in a cone in front of her, freezing the unfortunate darkspawn. The mage smirked as she unsheathed Spellweaver and cut down the beasts with ruthless efficiency. She didn't notice the large hurlock that had sneaked behind her until it was too late, and it was preparing to deal her a killing blow. As her eyes widened, so did the darkspawn's, its hulking form stopping short, then dropping dead at her feet. In its place stood Alistair, star metal blade drawn, fingers clutching it viciously, breathing heavily.

They barely had time to exchange glances though, when a terrifying roar exploded in Castle Redcliffe's courtyard. The two humans turned around to spot the biggest ogre they'd ever seen. They both knew what they had to do. Sheathing her sword, Atia let out a loud scream. "Wynne, Morrigan!" At the sound of her voice, the two other mages hurried back to them, prepared to face the giant darkspawn. Alistair started running towards the beast, feeling a rejuvenating spell wash through him, finally smashing shield-first into the ogre's… knee. 'Oh, Maker help us.'

* * *

A thousand thoughts were swimming through the young mage's mind in that moment. So much alarming information, she felt her head was about to explode. But the most difficult thing to cope with was the last thing she'd found out: when an archdemon is killed, its essence travels into the Grey Warden that slays it, killing them both. A deep frown adorned her beautiful features as she crossed the hall to her room.

A quick glance inside revealed Morrigan standing in front of the fireplace, her back to the door. "Do not be alarmed. It is only I."

"Morrigan? Is everything all right?"

"I am well. 'Tis you who are in danger. I have a plan, you see. A way out. The loop in your hole. I know what happens when the archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you. I have come to tell you this does not need to be."

Atia's frown deepened. "Does not need to be? What do you mean?"

"I offer a way out. A ritual… performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night." The ever present elusive expression was on Morrigan's face again.

"Just what sort of ritual is this?" Atia's skepticism rose with every word that came out of the witch's mouth. But she considered the woman her friend, so she did not suspect her of anything harmful.

"It is old magic, even before the Circle of Magi was created. Some might call it blood magic, but that is nothing but a name. There is far more to fear in this world than names."

"I assume you learned it from Flemeth?" The Grey Warden cocked a brow.

"Yes, I have known about it for some time…"

Her eyes narrowing, the mage interrupted the apostate. "Wait, so you knew about the sacrifice before Riordan told us? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did. Would you have believed me if I told you? I have my doubts." Morrigan also narrowed her eyes.

"Tell me more, then." Atia sighed.

"What I propose is this: convince Alistair to lay with me here, tonight…"

"What?!"

"Let me finish, please. From this ritual, a child shall be conceived. When the archdemon is slain, its essence shall travel to the child instead of the Grey Warden. At this early stage, the child can absorb that essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Wardens dying in the process."

"Are you insane? This is you plan?" The mage was certainly surprised, but most of all amazed. Did Morrigan really think she would accept this?

"Think about what I offer: you and Alistair will live, heroes after slaying the archdemon. In return, I get to keep the child. After this is done, you allow me to walk away… and you do not follow. Ever. The child will be mine to raise as I wish."

"You actually think that Alistair will agree to this? That I will agree to this?"

"If you care for him as much as you seem to, you would not let him make this sacrifice. And if you, the woman he loves, take the blow, how do you think he would feel? I think you have many reasons to accept my offer. I think you should consider them carefully."

Tired as she was, Atia felt the prickling sensation of tears in the corners of her eyes. Morrigan had a point. More than that, she was absolutely right. But still… this was Alistair she was talking about… her Alistair. She closed her eyes, banishing the burning sensation in the pit of her stomach and said, "I agree. I'll do it."

A satisfied smile stretched across Morrigan's features. "Very well. I shall wait here then."

* * *

Alistair smirked when he recognized the intruder in his room. "I see you can't sleep either." He then remembered something. "I saw Morrigan outside your room earlier and she gave me the iciest glare I've ever gotten from her. Something up?"

Unknowingly avoiding the question, Atia replied, "You can't sleep? Are you all right?"

"I am. But now you're changing the subject. This is about Morrigan. I'm tired, but I'm not stupid. What did she want?

"We… we need to talk…"

"Oh, I guess it's big then. So, what is it? Rats running amok? Cheese supplies running low? I can take it." He smiled his trademark grin.

Atia could bet she had the most sheepish look on her face. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Alistair was staring to get annoyed. "Could you make it sound more ominous? Tell me already!" He said through clenched teeth.

"There's a way to avoid dying tomorrow." She blurted out.

"Oh. Well, if you mean running away, I can't do that. But you don't mean that, do you? What is this about?" Now it was becoming confusing.

"I need you to take part in a magic ritual. You need to... to… sleep with Morrigan."

"You're not actually asking me this, are you? What kind of ritual is this anyway?"

"I won't lie… it will produce a child." Atia kept her gaze fixed on his, and was hoping to gauge any reaction he might have. This is exactly what she expected.

"What?!?! Am I hearing this right? Are you telling me to impregnate Morrigan in some kind of… magical sex rite?" He was yelling by now, and Atia felt more miserable with each syllable. "This child. Why would Morrigan want such a thing? Does she want an heir to the throne?"

"I think she wants to make an… Old God…"

"Oh, well, that's so much better? What were you thinking even suggesting this?" He sighed. "Look, even if I was willing to entertain the idea… and I'm not saying that I am… is this really what you want me to do? Are you sure…?"

Atia settled for the easy way. She didn't want to say something like "If you loved me, you would do it." It didn't seem fair. It didn't leave him any choice. So, instead, she said, "I know it's the right thing to do."

Alistair sighed and took a seat on the bed. He cradled his head in his hands for a minute, then raised his eyes and said, "No, I can't… I can't do it. You can't ask me to do this, not like this."

Atia was on the verge of bursting into sobs. For the umpteenth time that night, she swallowed up her sadness. "I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have asked…"

"I can't believe you thought I would agree to this. I'm going to get some sleep. We are done talking about this." With that, he began unbuckling his armor, completely ignoring the heavyhearted mage that slowly began to walk out of his room, her eyes on ground now.

* * *

"T'would seem your talk is done. What is it to be then? Has a decision been reached?" Morrigan's lively tone was so strange to Atia's ears right then.

"I'm sorry, Morrigan. Isn't there any other way?"

Morrigan nodded, having understood the answer. "No, there is not."

"Then, it ends here"

"You are both fools. I will not stand by and watch you waste this opportunity. Die, if you feel it is worthwhile. Or be overshadowed. I care not."

Atia felt like she couldn't lose anyone else tonight. "Please… don't go."

Morrigan shook her head. "Would that I could help you. But you do not want my help. Fare thee well, my friend. I do what I must now, and so shall you." With that, she walked away from the young mage that had been her first friend, leaving her to cope with the unavoidable consequences of her decisions.

Feeling like she couldn't take it anymore, feeling like she had no strength to go on, Atia collapsed on the cold stone floor and began weeping. She cried because of everything bad that had happened up until then. She cried because of her sacrifices for the Circle, she cried for being a Grey Warden, she cried for not being able to live a normal life, to experience a normal love, she cried for all the lives that had been lost, and would be lost in a few days. She cried because of all the responsibility that was put on her shoulders, she cried because of the fact that she could die after facing the archdemon, or even worse, Alistair could die, and she knew she couldn't bear it. She cried because of Morrigan's departure. But she cried most because Alistair wasn't there. He wasn't beside her to soothe her sorrow. He wasn't beside her to wipe away her tears and tell her it was going to be all right. She cried because she drove him away a few hours ago, by trying to protect him. She cried until she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. She cried until she finally heard the first soothing whisper, felt the first calming kiss. When she stopped, he was there. Her life, her love… the love of her life. And she knew she would die for him… or with him.


End file.
